Hi I'm Jules, I live in North London and my day job is a headhunter. That doesn't mean that I lurk in the jungles of Equatorial Guniea, it means that I find jobs for lawyers from an office in Liverpool Street.I used to work as a football journalist until my entire department was made redundant on September 10th 2001. However within 24 hours my own personal problems sort of paled into insignificance.
My first attempt at literature a frothy, lightweight affair called 'Greeting the 500' (currently found in various bargain buckets up and down the country as well as propping up my friend's baby's cot), was published by a fly-by-night organisation that subsequently went bankrupt and I maintain that this was in spite of my book and not because of it.
To date I believe that it remained only the second ever book to hit the shelves at Waterstones with absolutely no editorial input from it's publishers (the other one was Mao Tse-Tung's Little Red Book), as I believe my editor was too busy hiding under her desk from the bailiffs.
Nevertheless it was feted by the media and described as "A Rip-Roaring Rollercoaster of a Romp!"
By me.
I was occassionaly recognised whilst out an about...well once actually whilst in the beer garden of the Steeles Pub and that was by someone I went to school with. In fact once upon a time I had a large gay following.
But I managed to shake him off. (Thankyou. I'm here all week, try the veal)
My ambition is to one day live in America, preferably legally, or failing that in any other country that isn't forced to suffer Strictly Come Dancing, the 'Go Compare' advert and little children carrying large knives and referring to each other as 'bruv'.
Here is some more information.
Dislikes: Tomatoes, bunker shots, speed bumps, finding hair in my food, Frenchmen who love themselves (see T.Henry), 4-wheel drives in NW3, plane journeys, stubbing my toe, running up to a man next to my car who says “sorry the ticket’s already been issued”, noticing tubes in my roast beef, American sitcoms, going clothes shopping with anyone female, mouth ulcers, the Northern Line, ironing a shirt, ‘political correctness gone mad’, anyone who uses the expression 'political correctness gone mad', macaroni cheese, Andie McDowell's acting, having to hold in flatulence, the music of Chris de Burgh, any dog that’s smaller than a loaf of bread, being told by a robot on the phone to “listen to the following options”, being woken by someone clanking crockery in the kitchen, icy pavements.....
Likes: Luxury sherry trifle(Tesco), The Crystal Maze, England (or GB or UK) winning at anything, reading in the bath, general knowledge quizzes, the city of Sydney, making a nut flush on the river, drunkenly singing “the Fairytale of New York”, memories of watching TV on 13th May 1981, reading the column of Victor Lewis Smith, ginger hair and freckles (on women), the murder explanations on Johnathan Creek, being massaged anywhere other than the back and shoulders, any film starring Joe Pesci, the sound of the rain, LOST, Cutty Sark whiskey, using the word ‘discombobulated’, staring at pictures of Scarlett Johansson, the moment of relief after waking from a particularly vivid nightmare, finally dislodging the apple skin from between my teeth, In Bruges, seeing ethnically different people sharing a joke, sneezing.........
