What with this brown ‘British’ slurry covering a vast area of ‘American’ sea in the Gulf of Mexico (the slick now reckoned to cover an area larger than Luxembourg….and presumably containing more interesting life-forms), it seems abundantly clear to me that we drew our opening match of the World Cup 1-1 with the USA on purpose.
I would like to advance the theory that in the spirit of getting the relationship back on track and in order to thaw out the frosty blanket that has lately been throttling the genteel accord that used to exist prior to ‘slick-gate’, Robert Green was instructed to tip the ball into his own net, Ledley King was instructed to pull a groin and Emile Heskey was instructed not to score.
The latter was achieved with the minimum of fuss.
And the middle one for that matter.
I have been ensured by Fabio Capello, in a late night conversation that I had with him just moments ago, that normal service will be resumed next Friday night and England will eke out a glorious and deserved 1-0 win against Algeria, Wayne Rooney scoring on 89 minutes with a shot that will be deflected in off Frank Lampard’s buttocks.
I would like to advance the theory that in the spirit of getting the relationship back on track and in order to thaw out the frosty blanket that has lately been throttling the genteel accord that used to exist prior to ‘slick-gate’, Robert Green was instructed to tip the ball into his own net, Ledley King was instructed to pull a groin and Emile Heskey was instructed not to score.
The latter was achieved with the minimum of fuss.
And the middle one for that matter.
I have been ensured by Fabio Capello, in a late night conversation that I had with him just moments ago, that normal service will be resumed next Friday night and England will eke out a glorious and deserved 1-0 win against Algeria, Wayne Rooney scoring on 89 minutes with a shot that will be deflected in off Frank Lampard’s buttocks.
