Reply - Sir Alex Ferguson

Sir Alex Ferguson has been having a bit of a tough time of it recently. A 0-0 draw with Rangers in the Champions League, Wayne Rooney's form making him look like the 'Diva Fever' of the Manchester United squad (a little X-Factor reference for you there) and to top it all, I've heard there's a move to put the price of red wine up.

That is in no way a perjorative poke at SAF's boozing habits, he would be the first to admit that he often partakes of a cheeky glass of Beaujolais Nouveau (or indeed a Beaujolais Vieux), and that reminds me of the birthday card that have I just this very day bought for my dad who celebrates a pretty hefty round number in the next few days.

It is, perhaps, lacking in subtlety somewhat, but will hopefuly make him smile.

Well anyway, whilst a statistically significant number of the 87 or so 'celebrities' that have so far received my letter have not found the need to respond, at least Sir Alex was kind enough to make me aware that he wouldn't be able to help me on this (or probably any other) occasion.

A communication sent to me hot from United's Carrington Training Ground, courtesy of young Rachel, read:

Dear Julian Further to your letter to Sir Alex Ferguson CBE. As you can imagine, we are inundated with requests for Sir Alex to sign items and unfortunately we are unable to assist with your request on this occasion. Yours sincerely Rachel Cxxxxx

I say 'young' Rachel, but that is merely a guess. However, I wouldn't be surprised if one's looks got someone a long way in applying for that particular job. What do I mean by that? I'm not really sure.

Incidentally, the crosses that form part of Rachel's surname above, were certainly not her signing off with kisses.

Just as well as were she ever to clasp eyes on me in some trendy bar in Didsbury, she might choke on her Jagerbomb. I have the sort of face that only a mother could love...and pretty short-sighted mother at that. So no, I have simply blanked out much of her surname to protect the young lass's anonymity.

On the plus side I will, next week, be meeting Sir Richard Wilson (OBE? I'm not sure) as he prepares to become the latest of the 500 to sign the flags.

So it's not all doom and gloom!