Friday, 26 November 2010

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned

It's been 26 days since my last post and whilst I'm on the subject, it's been seven hours and fifteen days, since you took your love away.

I went to the doctor and guess what she told me? She said "Jules your cholesterol is 6.7 you fat git." - or words to that effect.

Look, the reason I haven't managed to recant any more stories about further celebrities signing my Union Jack for President Obama since Jeffrey Archer, Boris Johnson and Richard Wilson graced my presence in October is because I've been busy trying to garner support for England's 2018 World Cup bid by sourcing a pair rhinoceros skinned stilletos for Sepp Blatter's wife.

I've also been providing voice coaching for Katie Waissel but to no avail.

Well the reason that I'm including a post here, albeit a day late is to wish every American I know including, and in no particular order, my work colleague Parker (yes that's his real name), Ron Jeremy (see photo), a couple of ex-girlfriends, their friends and their friends friends - there's only one girl for me now ;o) - and Barack himself, a very, very happy Thanksgiving!

Enjoy your turkey, pumpkin pie and reparations to the Native Americans.

I will be writing to the other 389 celebrities on my list soon as I have recently recieved a batch of 600 envelopes and would like to put out an S.O.S plea (as ABBA did) since I am currently searching for hardy souls with strong wrists who enjoy addressing envelopes.