I thought that the US First Amendment enabled one to label others as the personification of the male genitalia, but evidently not.
I have a feeling that Luke isn't overly bothered about his new-found restriction of movement within the US borders, he's probably too busy learning how to hotwire cars or shouting down the phone at exploited Polish Domino's Pizza workers in Luton for putting to much pineapple on his thin-crust Hawaiian.
I would never be so rude to President B.O. , largely becasue I'm still hoping that he'll agree to be interviewed for my book, where he can vent his spleen about British Petroleum and Luke Angel.
I've often found that Celebrity chefs are a great deal like London buses (they both use Oysters and are usually seen advertising things).
In other words, nothing for ages and then two come at once. I say that because just days after hearing back from Delia Smith, I now have a reply from Jamie Oliver. Well not actually from young James himself.
Bizzarely, I went to the extraordinary length of posting a letter in a post-box no more than 30 metres from his house (as it's also only several hundred metres from mine) - and yes I do know where he lives, and no, please no more emails from anyone asking me for "so-and-so's" contact details, do your own research.
This letter was presumably then whisked off to Mount Pleasant in Clerkenwell before being sent back to the same street where it was dispatched two days earlier.
Well I'd like to think that at the very least I'm keeping some poor member of the Royal Mail employed and so that's one extra postperson who's less likely to go on strike.
Actually yeah, you should all be thanking me for that.
Anyway an emailed response from no-one in particular, a.k.a 'The Enquiries Team', stated:
Dear Julian, Thank you for your letter. Jamie receives letters every day with requests for his involvement with many worthwhile causes, every one of which he would dearly love to support. As we are sure you can appreciate, unfortunately it is not possible for him to support them all.
He is currently involved with several charities, including his own; The Jamie Oliver Foundation, but due to time constraints from his busy schedule he is unable to meet with you with regards to your charitable organization. I am sorry Jamie cannot help you on this occasion, but we wish you every success for your very worthwhile cause.
I was going to respond that I don't own a charitable organization, but considered that to be a bit facetious and so have left it at that.
In any case, once again I am simply grateful to have received a reply.
Meanwhile in other news, I've recently learned how to make a white wine and lemon sauce for fried chicken escalopes. True story.
I'm now learning how to boil peas.